The romance of internet dating

The dating scene today doesn’t sound so fun. Back when I was single and dating, it was fun. A lot of fun {wink}. Of course, back then, I recall channeling my inner blond ambition and I was after all, in my twenties. There was no shortage of ways to meet guys. Cruising down main, hanging at the mall, dancing, skating, you name it. Easy.

So when I heard the story of Mary, single at forty, who met a nice guy on an internet dating site, I thought about how hard it is to even find a guy to date these days, much less find a guy that is well, easy to date.

She met Abdul online after he had immigrated here from Pakistan. They had matched on something like 20 “dimensions of compatibility” or whatever the eff that’s all about. They did the online chat, then progressed to the oh-so-daring phone calls. Mary thought he was sweet, gentlemanly. After a couple of months of getting to know each other anonymously through email/chat/phone, they progressed to the in-person rendezvous.

Abdul indicated he wanted to take her out to a fancy place for a wonderful meal. He wanted to treat her like a queen. Now normally she would have steered toward coffee for a first meet-n-greet, but he sounded so hopeful and it was so contagious that she agreed.

She set a date and he called her a couple days prior to confirm the plans. Abdul told her how excited he was and then told her about this fabulous place he wanted to meet her at. It was the International House of Pancakes.

Yes. IHOP.

Mary was momentarily non-plussed. Did he just say IHOP? as in “I would like to take my queen on a date at IHOP?” So she gently asked “Just to clarify, you want to go to IHOP? I didn’t realize they served dinner at the International House of Pancakes…”

He quickly assured her that there was a misunderstanding, “I apologize Mary, it must be my English.” She immediately felt better until “I want to meet you for breakfast, I have a two-for-one coupon.” Discount dating is not okay. Call it cultural differences, call it what you want. Mary called it right there. “I don’t think so.” And with that, put him back on the shelf.

Mary akins her dating experience in her forties to shopping for just the right thing. Which is never easy. We know what we want, but can’t seem to find the right store. Or the right price.

With internet dating, she expected to find hidden treasures waiting to be discovered. What she got was the equivalent to bargain shopping at the dollar store. She found something that might fit but upon closer inspection, it was a size too small. Some women might keep it thinking it will fit one day, but Mary was smart to put it back. After all isn’t that how we end up with so much baggage in the first place?